Amateur Surgeon Review

On September 18, 2012

Ahoy there lads and lassies! It’s me again, your app pirate, bringing you my latest finds from the seven seas and beyond, as far as apps are concerned.

When I was a young lad, I’ve had dreams of becoming a doctor. But I eventually decided that it’s more fun to be a pirate and go on a swashbucklin’ adventure every day. I’m sure some of you went through that phase of wanting to be a doctor, and some of you pursued your dreams, while some of you didn’t.  For those of you still wanting to be a doctor, but thinking it’s really just too late for that, I have just the app for you -Amateur Surgeon.

How to be an Amateur Surgeon

Being an amateur surgeon is fairly easy and actually fun! In this game, you’re a pizza boy who’s not quite content with life yet, as you dream to become a surgeon. With the help of a doctor who gives you strangely ill, but good advice, you gain the tools you need to become a successful surgeon. Your tools? State of the art, highly effective pizza cutters, salad tongs, staplers, and a car battery. Shiver me timbers! No one ever told me being a surgeon was this easy!

There are three files with a total of 27 patients plus 3 bonus patients waiting for your not-so-expert medical assistance. Each patient will have his or her own illness or condition that you will not to fix like removing bullets, killing an ant inside someone’s body (and even an overgrown tapeworm), and even removing a pimp’s bling bling from his body. As strange as your medical tools are, so are the problems of your patients.

Your state of the art tools are made available on your screen.  Your (not) medically approved pizza cutter obviously opens up your patient. You can use your salad tong to remove all kinds of items inside your patient’s body. You also have a lighter and a stapler at your disposal to close the open wounds of your patients. Now, you might be wondering what the car battery is for. That’s to bring your patient back to life when he is close to death and his heart stops beating. There’s a time limit for saving your patient’s life. This means you’ll have to balance your time between figuring out how to help your patient and actually doing it.

You’re also given a grade on each patient that you heal. As you get better at being a surgeon, you’ll receive higher marks.  Getting an “A” will help unlock some bonus features for you.

Just What the Doctor Ordered

There aren’t that many applications that provide adult content, that are not necessarily sexual in nature. Sometimes we just want good, but not so clean fun, and this is just what the doctor ordered. The graphics are strangely good and really colorful. Thanks to the graphics, you’ll really feel that each case is different from the other. The soundtrack is also good, and you even hear sound effects when you slice your patients open, which are disgustingly good, too.

As for the bad points of this game, I actually can’t think of any. Except maybe for the fact that this game is definitely not for kids. But then again, if there are games designed especially for kids, then there should be one for adults, too right? Aside from the disgustingly good graphics and the strangely good concept behind the game, it’s also quite a challenge that you will enjoy for hours.  The grading system is quite stingy, so you’ll be pushed to continue aiming for better surgeries.

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