Temple Run Review

Avast ye mateys! If you be a seadog like me, be happy because you will never have to pass the time at sea looking at your first mate, which happens to look like a combination of a bilge rat and a toad. Oh, what a sorry sight! No sirreee, passing the time on your ol boat will be a fun time from now on provided that you have got with you one of those iPad thingamajigs with the very popular Temple Run app installed. Well, let me tell you a tale of how such an app goes – bear in mind that there will be hints of frustration in me voice, but that is just because of the app itself. Don’t worry bucko, you will soon find out what I mean.

What is Temple Run?

It’s an app (duh?) or rather a game that primarily runs for iOS devices but later adapter for the Android market. Well, let’s take it up a notch; it is an addicting and, at times, extremely frustrating game that has pretty much taken the whole mobile world by storm. If you would compare it to something, go with Indiana Jones, particularly the film where he was changed by a huge boulder after he got some idol inside a temple. Yup, Temple Run is somewhat similar except that the boulder is a bunch of angry, flesh-craving, mutated apes looking to shred your skin and eat you limb by limb.

Run, Jump, Dodge, Slide

Obviously, like what we swashbucklin’ types normally do any given Sunday or whenever me wife tells me that I stink like a rump-kissing, wench-tipping scallywag. It is all about avoiding everything hurled at you. In Temple Run, though, what you will need to avoid are obstacles, thrown at you every nook and cranny. Running is an automated thing, which kind of keeps those zombie-like apes at bay. It’s the obstacles like trees, pits, and the like you have to be worried about. And through strategic tilting, swiping, and tapping you can get yourself out of a bind and leaves those apes eating your dust.

The app comes with boosts and other boons that you can buy in-game provided that you have collected all those coins you encounter along the way. Using those boosts and power ups, which you can buy with the coins you collect, can give you a fighting edge against those apes, especially when you have been waylaid by a quicksand of obstacles (which can happen in spurts more than once in a run).

Crisp and Sharp

Crisp and sharp, those two words fit the bill when talking about Temple Run’s graphics. It isn’t great, especially when you compare it to other apps employing the latest 3D graphics. Nope, Temple Run is a solid game with a classic look to it. And, if you really think about it, classic is all it needs. It’s just like me trusty ol cutlass – it isn’t nice to look at but it will get the job done, particularly when chopping of limbs and heads is something that needs to be done at the soonest.

Little Bugs

While there are no bugs or anything of the sort in the game itself, the app has a few minor glitches. Oh, don’t get me wrong, Temple Run runs just like me ship, fast and smooth. However, like any pirate’s vessel, you will notice a few squeaks and crooks in its wood. Well, in Temple Run, the app is notorious for occasional crashes and device overheating, though, the latest update did something to improve those bits.

The Bottom Line

It’s anchors away for this game. Apart from its extremely minor flaws, which have apparently been rectified as of late, Temple Run is one massive game that anyone from the age of 12 to 40 should have on their mobile device. It is a hall of famer in the making, which has triggered copycat creations aplenty. The app pirate votes two thumbs up along with me wooden leg. Har, har, har…